Before I begin lets look at this scripture and at the end of this story I will list some more scriptures that saw me through it all
ROMANS 8: 37-39 Says ..
Vs37- Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
Vs38- For I am persuaded , that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things to come
Vs39- Nor height, nor depths, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of GOD which is in Christ Jesus our lord.
Hi, My name is ….. Lets’ leave it as Anonymous, I am still scared of sharing my name or even sharing this story. I’m 19 and in my second year of college. Maybe at the end of this story I just might share my name……..
Everyone who knows me knows that I am always joyful and I’m so good at hiding hurt and my mood swings get the best of me when the memories of the past comes haunting. As I start my story I really hope I can reach out to so many girls and boys out there facing the exact same thing or facing something related and can’t really let it out.
I was born into a Christian home and so much is expected of a pastor’s child, you have to dress in a certain way, behave differently, etc. My parents were busy and focused on their work and my dad was always travelling, doing God’s work and mum was also busy one way or the other. It was hell for me actually I wasn’t the best academically, I had so much going on for me and I didn’t really have anyone to talk to or to cry to. My pillow became my best friend I would soak my tears in there every night. I felt rejected, ugly, fat and as I write, I pause every few seconds to think and cry. My parents never knew why I used to fail and never bothered to ask why. They assumed I wasn’t like the rest of my siblings and yes I do have siblings.
I’ve always wanted to be that perfect child and make my parents proud most especially my dad, but I guess no one really is. And there was a time in my life when my father concluded that he would stop paying my fees and I was such a rebel because I couldn’t bring myself to forgive them, I thought that was the best way of showing my hurt.
Then I found Jesus and he has helped me pull through so far and his love for me and you is unending and everlasting and amazing, It has really helped me so much and the joy I feel right now is over flowing …. Jesus has given me grace and love and I have found the ability to forgive all that hurt me in the past and I pray they find Jesus also.
14 years ago, my whole world felt like it was falling apart and that I was going to kill myself. It all started when I turned 5, I had these uncles; Uncle Damola and Uncle Femi. One day when uncle Damola came to the house, He called me to sit on his lap and would touch me in a rude manner which I didn’t even understand, and would offer to buy me sweets if I kept it as our adult secret or else he will beat me if I broke our secret. Well, as a little child I was so scared and that’s when it all started. I often received lots of sweets while uncle D molested me and it went on for 2 years and no one noticed at all…..
On the other hand is Uncle Femi. It happened the day my parents took us out to a birthday party and afterwards we went to see a movie, I was 9. Uncle femi came to spend the weekend with us and he was alone at home the day we went out.
After the birthday party we were off to the cinemas. I remember that my dad told us not to open our gifts or touch anything inside the party pack or else he will punish anyone who did by dropping them at home. As the stubborn child, I wasn’t really paying attention so I took out of my party pack and my sister snitched. I wish I listened because I still have the scar uncle Femi gave to me..
My dad got so mad and dropped me home with uncle Femi I remember clearly like it was yesterday. I was left alone with uncle femi for awhile they all came back late and he molested me horribly and as if he hadn’t caused enough damage he threatned to kill me himself and dispose my body if I ever told anyone and used a knife to make a mark on my arm if I ever told on him
And this went on for along time also.
Another incident happened when I was in primary 5, I had this classmate named taofeek and there was a time we had an excursion and my parents didn’t pay and I was left alone with taofeek in class and we had no adult supervison and he was much bigger in size and he asked me to raise my gown and he laid me down on the chair and he laid on top and did all sorts I went home devasted and wondering if God hated me I started dropping and I became anti-social I hated my life and attempted suicide by drinking rat posion how God saved me is still a miracle….
Another experience was with my own class teacher from my school named Mr Olayinka. I remember I was sick that day and I was taken to the sick bay and I woke up feeling so much pain, then I opened my eyes and I saw Mr olayinka touching the breasts I never had, I mean for Christs sake I was just in primary 4. He then used a divider to cut me up close to my vagina area causing me to bleed badly. I started tearing up and praying in my mind for help to come my way and luckily as he was trying to finger me with the divder, the school nurse came in and she noticed but kept quiet about it. She cleaned me up after he left and I remember his last words as he said, I remember vividly…it kept ringing in my head for weeks. I bleed for days and I just couldn’t bring myself to tell my mum I mean where do I start from
When I turned 16, I had an infection and I couldn’t pee for a week. So my parents took me to the hospital and I was admitted and they had to insert something inside me like a sack for me to pee into and it was the most uncomfortable thing ever. My aunty came to watch me that night also. The doctor for the night duty came and told my aunty he wanted to talk to me privately and my aunty went downstairs and he started talking off point and molested me on my sick bed.
Another incident was the one that happened with the gate keeper my parents employed; Uncle Muhammed who used to turn on the power generator for us when my parents weren’t home.
There was a day that my mum and sisters travelled and I couldn’t go because I had school and they didn’t. So it was basically just me and my dad and he had to go to work and then church. He would come late around 9 and by then I’ll be asleep.. one a particular day uncle muhammed was supposed to help put on the power generator around 6p.m when I got back from school, but instead, he came into the house and molested me. The event made everything worse. I cried till I slept off and didn’t even notice when my dad got home from church……
My story didn’t seem like it would have an end….
I remember my mum leaving me at home one day and my neighbors house boy also molested me
I haven’t only being been abused sexually but emotionally too. I’ve been in a relationship were the guy would hit me and hurt me with his words
It’s been so difficult to forgive them but God has helped me so far . I’ve forgiven them all….
I pray for everyone who has ever been through any of this, that God gives you the grace and strength to forgive.
It’s hard to forget though, I mean too too hard..
God isn’t done with me yet and you too trust me
Now I’m doing so well academically, spiritually, I have amazing friends and ever since I met Jesus all those horrifying night mares seized and haven’t occurred again…
Remember Jesus loves you dearly, give him a chance allow him into your life because he cares. Here are a few scriptures that helped during this phase and I believe can help you too.
I’m a living testimony and as for my name lets’ leave it as anonymous………
Post author left anonymous on request.